


The (Literally) Fallen Angel

by Arcwin, Beta_Jawn



Category: Dirk Gently - Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Bisexual Todd Brotzman, Demisexual Dirk Gently, Dirk "tripped" out of heaven, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Dirk borrows Todd's clothes, Fallen Angels, Fluff, M/M, Non-Binary Angels, cute dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-10 14:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13503255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcwin/pseuds/Arcwin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beta_Jawn/pseuds/Beta_Jawn
Summary: "This is the moment.This,right here and now, is the moment that Todd’s life changes. He expects fanfare for something so monumental. Perhaps a crack of thunder, or a sudden shift in visual perception allowing him to see colors more vibrantly. He expects to feeldifferent, joyous, full of wonder and awe at such animportantmoment. Todd expects...well,something, anyway.He gets nothing.Well, nothing except befuddlement and a sudden, gnawing urge to turn around and walk in any direction other than the one he’s currently headed in."Todd Brotzman: Fallen-angel-turned-demon who really isn't into this whole "demon" thingDirk Gently: Holistic Angel who "tripped" and needs the help of his brand newassis-demonto get back up to HeavenBasically, Dirk and Todd are the same characters we know and love but they meet in a different way and exist within the angel/demon universe. Mannerisms and personalities are as much Canon as we are able to portray! Hope you like it!Update 4/11/18: for now, we are calling it complete. We may add to it in the future, we will see! Thanks for being so supportive and for reading/sharing/commenting!!





	1. Chapter 1

It’s a _sort of_ warm day, but a confusing one at that. The kind that makes you believe you’ll be warm enough in short sleeves, and then tricks you the moment you step into the shade. _Rude_. Todd is currently walking a brisk pace, having been swindled by such malevolent weather, and trying to keep himself from being completely covered in embarrassing goosebumps. His soot-colored wings keep twitching in annoyance about it, chiding him for being foolish enough to believe the sunshine despite the logical side of his brain telling him that April is far too early in the year for such inadequate clothing. His thoughts are swirling lazily around in his head like water in a sink with a partially stopped up drain when he sees something he doesn't expect.

Nope, he doesn't expect this at all.

It’s an _angel_.

Sitting at a _bus stop_.

An _angel_ sitting at a **_bus stop_**. Is it... waiting for the bus? No, Todd, that’s ridiculous. Angels don’t _take the bus._

Wait, **wait**. Angels also don’t _walk around down here, either._ They certainly come down to meddle in the lives of their precious humans, but their annoyingly perfect little feet never touch the ground. Not unless…hm.

Todd considers his options. First option includes ignoring the angel and the current implications of its situation and continuing on home to acquire a jacket for this deceptive day. Second option includes _getting involved_. Not Todd’s preference, to be sure. This situation is certainly intriguing, though, considering said angel still has beautifully **pearly** **white** wings yet is _definitely_ tapping its feet on _the ground_ in a bizarre non-rhythm.

It seems a bit sad and dejected, wings drooping and head hanging while it _waits for a bus_. To be fair, most organisms waiting for the bus appear in similar spirits, but an _angel_? **_Really_**? Is this happening right now?

No, Todd decides. This is just too weird. He shoves his hands further into his pockets, willing his muscles to _warm themselves up dammit_ and attempts to walk a bit faster, looking in every direction _except_ at the angel he’s about to pass.

Until it sighs. **Loudly**. **_Attention-seekingly._ **

Fuck.

Todd (realizing his quest for a jacket is being shoved to the wayside) falters as he is about to reach the angel, which has most _definitely_ noticed him and seems to be watching him out of the corner of its eye. Upon meeting his gaze, said angel abruptly looks away, realizing its been caught and failing at acting nonchalant about it. **Failing miserably** , Todd notes. He takes a deep breath and considers how to start what will undoubtedly be the most confusing conversation he _has_ ever or _will_ ever have.

 **This is the moment.** This, _right here and now_ , is the moment that Todd’s life changes. He expects fanfare for something so monumental. Perhaps a crack of thunder, or a sudden shift in visual perception allowing him to see colors more vibrantly. He expects to feel different, joyous, full of wonder and awe at such an _important_ moment. Todd expects...well, _something_ , anyway.

He gets nothing.

Well, nothing except befuddlement and a sudden, gnawing urge to turn around and walk in any direction other than the one he’s currently headed in.

“You’re a _demon_ , aren’t you?” the angel asks suddenly, having sprung up from the bus stop bench and inserting himself directly within Todd’s usually highly guarded personal space.

Todd’s eyebrows nearly shoot entirely off his face before his scalp stops them and puts them back in their places, the silly things. He involuntarily backs away from the angel, which seems to have a magnetic pull and keeps the exact distance despite Todd’s efforts at putting space between them. “Uh, I, uh...well, yeah. I am. You’re an angel, right?” he squeaks, feeling immediately embarrassed about sounding so ridiculous.

The angel nods excitedly, eyebrows waggling up and down for emphasis and mouth pulling up into the largest, closed-mouth grin Todd’s ever seen. It’s somewhat cute, he thinks. Only _somewhat_ , of course. Todd doesn’t like angels **_like that_**. _Obviously_. **Stop** implying things!

It keeps staring at him, upper body leaning even closer to Todd while its wings flutter behind it in the still quite annoyingly chilly breeze. Todd shivers. _Just_ because it’s cold. That’s the **_only_ ** reason. _Really_. Just let it go, would you?

He clears his throat, realizing that the angel is waiting for him to speak. Well, he isn’t quite sure if that’s what it’s waiting for, to be honest, but he’s tired of the awkward silence. “Why are you...well, _down here_?”

The angel straightens itself dramatically, chin jutting up in the air as it pretends to look affronted. A light blush creeps high onto its cheekbones, settling there and making it look _even more_ adorable. Todd blinks and shakes his head to clear these ludicrous thoughts.

“What do you mean? I’m an angel, I can go where I please.”

Todd smirks. “Right, but you’re on the ground.”

“And…?”

“You’re not supposed to touch the ground. You’re an angel. The only time angels touch the ground is when they have _fallen_ , and then they turn into demons like me. Everyone knows that.”

“Not _everyone,_ Mr. I-think-I-know-everything-about-angels,” the angel retorts, hands on its hips for maximum sass.

At this point, Todd is considering his options again, strongly leaning towards moving on with his life and forgetting about this bizarre encounter altogether in a few bottles of his favorite beer. However... his brain seems to be stuck on a carousel of thoughts about this clearly pathetic yet trying to seem impressive angel, with it's gloriously white wings and feet firmly planted on the ground, precisely where they **shouldn't** be. Not to mention the angel’s propensity towards appearing remarkably attractive. For an _angel_ , that is.

“I, uh, fell,” the angel announces suddenly.

Ah. “Why are your wings still white, then?” Todd asks quietly, knowing how sensitive this subject can be for newly fallen angels. He remembers how it was for him, then immediately reminds himself that he isn't going down that path again, no thank you.

“Because I'm _still_ an angel, duh!” the angel replies, repressing a small huff of laughter. “I haven't **_fallen,_**  demon. I merely fell.”

Todd's eyebrows come together to discuss how much this doesn't make a bit of sense. His brain can't figure it out either. “So.. did you break the rules? Which ones?”

The angel looks at his shoes, searching for some courage. He finds enough to respond with a, “Not exactly…”

“Wait,” Todd starts. “You aren't saying you literally _fell out of Heaven_ , are you?!” He laughs at how inane the idea is, an angel free falling from the clouds--

“Possibly.”

“Possibly?!” Todd is on the verge of doubling over now, his laughter filling the street.

“Possibly. Maybe. Probably. Okay, okay, yes. I tripped.”

“You didn't,” he gasps out in near hysterics at the mental image of this lanky, absurd creature tripping over a tuft of cloud and face-planting out of Heaven, landing near this very bus stop. That must be _exactly what happened_ , and Todd can barely stand it.

“I don't appreciate you laughing at me. I tripped and fell and now I don't know how to get back up there. My wings, well... they don't seem to be working. **But!** With _your_ _help_ I will figure it out, my new assis-demon!”

Todd’s humor screeches to a halt. “Excuse me?”

“I'm Dirk Gently. I'm a _holistic_ angel. I believe in the interconnectedness of all things. I'm like a leaf in the stream of the heavenly cosmos, going where it takes me. That means I was supposed to meet you, uh... what did you say your name was, assis-demon?”

Todd is struggling to understand what just happened between them. This angel is making an awful lot of assumptions and he isn't quite sure he likes any of them. Still…

“I'm Todd. Todd Brotzman,” he hears himself saying with disbelief. How did this happen? When did his mouth decide to go rogue and start moving on its own? Did he seriously just agree to help an angel try to figure out how to get back into Heaven? _The_   _Jacket Quest_ is definitely abandoned now.

“Nice to meet you Todd. Things are going to go **very** well for us, I can tell. Definitely, _very_ well. I have a tendency towards things going well, you know,” Dirk states seriously, nodding furiously in the hopes that it might instill some validity to the claim. “I must admit, though, some might say not exactly well _all the time._ Actually **_many_ ** would say that. But there's a first time for everything and having an exciting new assis-demon like yourself will definitely increase the chances that things will go _very well indeed_ ,” the angel blabbed on, hands gesticulating wildly while its wings enthusiastically agreed.

Exasperated at this surprising shift in the day, Todd sighs loudly in his mind but doesn't dare let it escape his lips. Dirk is so adorably animated he can't bear to remind the angel of the truth:

_Once an angel’s feet touch the ground of Earth, they are bound there for all of eternity, cursed to spend their time amongst mortals as demonic monstrosities._

It’s the first lesson all angels learn the moment they are created.

Dirk Gently must have missed that day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk is finding this new realm quite... _annoying_.

“So, _Todd_ , where are we going?”

Dirk is currently very, _very_ excited about this fascinating turn of events. One moment, there was falling onto the much-harder-than-it-looks pavement, scraping cheeks and palms while bracing for impact. Said parts of this body are now burning, and Dirk’s decided to ignore them. _Now,_ however, _now things are going much better!_ There’s been the acquiring of an assis-demon, which is incredibly positive! Perhaps an actual assistant? Or, _gasp_ , an assis-friend!? Oh, how things have so dramatically improved!

 _Very, very excited_. Just needed to reiterate that. **_Very_** _._

Todd, still walking, turns his head and peers around his wings. “To my apartment, remember? I need a jacket. I...I thought it was going to be warmer today than it is,” he trails off, making a confusing yet definitely _not happy_ face before looking forward again, narrowly avoiding walking into a mailbox. He skip-hops out of the way and off the curb, where a bicyclist PEDALS RIGHT INTO HIM!

“Todd!!”

No, not right into him. _Through_ him. _Of course_. Dirk lets the breath that was stuck inside some very silly lungs go, attempting to whistle nonchalantly in an effort to hide the narrowly avoided panic attack. _There_. All better! Time to get to know this new assis-demon better.

“Where are you from, Todd?”

Todd abruptly stops walking and whirls around, nearly slamming into Dirk, who doesn’t mind in the slightest. “What do you mean, where am I from? Don’t you--I mean--you must _know_ , Dirk.”

Dirk stares at him, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, and face broken open into a pleasant smile. The angel looks completely, _utterly_ , _adorably_ amused and simultaneously confused. It’s a bizarre combination, one that Dirk feels will probably encompass these features regularly. It’s somewhat comforting to feel so delightfully ignorant. Todd watches as Dirk considers these emotions, expression shifting slightly from childlike wonderment to genuine curiosity.

Todd can’t help but sigh--it’s a long-suffering, exasperated sigh that seems to eek out from every inch of his very bones. How can one creature be _so_ annoying _so_ quickly? Todd begins regretting his moment of weakness earlier, wondering if perhaps he can somehow extract himself from the angel’s company before much else happens. And, he’s still frustratingly chilly, making matters that much worse. It’s decided, then--Todd needs to rid himself of this ridiculous angel. _Immediately_. It’s for the sake of sanity, you realize. A necessity for purely selfish reasons.

“Dirk…,” he begins, trying to force some determination into his voice. He sounds less sure than he wishes, and frowns about it. The frown doesn’t really help, so he tries again. “Dirk. I...uh--”

The openly friendly and genuine expression on Dirk’s face kills all facade of courage Todd had attempted mustering and he looks up at the clouds, which are appearing decidedly darker and more ominous than he remembered from moments ago. “Shit. I think it’s going to--”

And with that, a crack of lightning splits the sky and buckets of rain beginning pouring themselves all over the companions. It’s quite rude, really, and Todd rushes to the nearest tree, cowering beneath it and shivering. Dirk follows with a terrified expression, startling visibly at the loud rumble of thunder that shakes the earth around them. “What--what!? What is--I don’t--why is this--” the angel sputters, blinking rapidly while gazing frantically around them for a clue as to what is causing such horribly loud noises and such uncomfortable... _stuff_. “What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? What is this stuff!?” Dirk shouts above the next rumble of thunder at Todd, who has his arms wrapped around himself, hands rubbing his biceps in an attempt to warm up.

Todd glances towards Dirk, confused, before he realizes what Dirk is talking about. As he realizes what’s going on, he finds it suddenly hilarious and giggles to himself. “Dirk, it’s…,” he pauses, breathless. “It’s called rain.”

“I hate it! It’s much too loud!” Dirk yells, glaring up at the sky as if personally insulted. “Why does it have to be so loud? And what purpose does it serve!?”

The demon watches as Dirk’s face continues to screw itself up in a scowl and can’t help but allow another chuckle through his lips. “The loud bit isn’t the rain, that’s the thunder. It’s April--you know, April showers bring May flowers? It’s for the plants. Surely you’ve heard of rain before…,” he trails off as Dirk shoots him a befuddled look. “Oh, right. Okay. How long exactly have you existed, Dirk?”

The rain continues slapping the pavement around them as they huddle together, Dirk lost in thought. After several attempts at an answer which produce nothing but an embarrassing, gaping mouth, the angel replies, “Since...today?”

“Today?”

Dirk nods vigorously. “Today. This morning in fact. I was created, and then I noticed something interested below the clouds. I leaned just a _bit_ too far and...you know, they really ought to do something about that. Make...a...thing. A thing to keep creatures from falling off edges. A...keepy-thingy. A _don’t fall down_ thingy. Is there such a thing? I should make this thing.”

Todd stares at Dirk, barely hearing the rambling, as he realizes the enormity of what was just admitted. Dirk, an angel, was created _today_ and then promptly fell out of the sky. No wonder his companion is so utterly lost. Shame creeps up the back of his neck as he remembers his previous conviction to abandon the angel, prickling the back of his neck and heating his cheeks. A shake of the head and he quells the self-loathing and he forces a false smile at Dirk, who hasn’t stopped the tirade about making a _don’t fall down_ thing.

“It’s called a guard rail. It’s been invented...down here, anyway. I think there hasn’t been much of a need for one in Heaven yet. Maybe when you get back up there you can talk to the _Big Guy_ about it,” Todd suggests, attempting to feel helpful. He doesn’t, of course, instead feeling ridiculous for actually mentioning the idea that Dirk might be able to make it back _up there_. There’s no way it’s happening, but he doesn’t have the heart to say it out loud. Maybe Dirk will realize it on his--

“Todd!! Tremendous idea! You are the absolute best assis-demon I could have asked for! When we make it up there we will _definitely_ make an appointment with the _Big Guy_ to discuss these...guard...things. Oh, _yes!_ Todd, you are already _so_ helpful! Now, you seem to be quite knowledgeable about...well, _everything_ so far. I have _so_ many questions. Firstly, are--”

“Dirk, look,” Todd interrupts. “The rain is stopping. Let’s...I’m cold. Let’s go back to my apartment. I’ll answer whatever questions you have as best as I can, okay?” He reassures, resigned to accepting this new...whatever this is.

The angel’s face breaks out in a blinding grin, wings twitching excitedly. “Excellent! Only…my...my,” Dirk’s smile fades, pointing at the middle of this new body, panicking. “This...this part of me is aching terribly! And it’s making these noises, it seems...oh god is it _angry_ at me!? Why is it angry? Did I _do_ something to make it angry? How do I make it happy again!? It was that dastardly rain, wasn’t it!?” Dirk shifts uncomfortably, convinced of additional impending assaults from the sky. Despite the utter lack of said assaults, the angel remains vigilant, fists raised as if expecting a fight. Nothing happens, of course, and eventually Dirk lowers them while making a _face_. A very, _very_ displeased face.

Todd, who had turned to walk again, suppresses a smirk as he hears Dirk’s stomach gurgle and rumble loudly in the absence of the nearly deafening thunderstorm which is currently receding. He faces the angel and states matter of factly, “It’s called a _stomach_. You are _hungry_. You have to eat. We can do that at my apartment.”

“It’s.... _awful!!_ I don’t like it at all. Can’t I just ignore it and hope it goes away?” Dirk whines while frowning down at the offending organ.

“Nope. C’mon. You have a lot to learn,” Todd replies sarcastically. “Life down here is much less pleasant than up there.”

“ _Obviously_. Although, you are showing me that at least _some_ beings in this place are decent enough to help me,” Dirk says with a quirky smile. “You’re the first creature to acknowledge me since I landed.”

Todd would stop walking if he wasn’t now both cold _and_ wet _and_ hungry (thanks to Dirk) but he can’t possibly be distracted anymore. So, instead, he glances back over his wings and explains why everyone else ignored poor, pathetic Dirk. “No one can see you unless you want them to, and trust me, _you don’t_. Your wings alone would send most of them into shock. Only other angels and demons can see you. I must have just been the first one to come along.” He considers the implications of this occurrence, conflicted about whether this turn of events in the middle of his day were fortuitous, or catastrophic. Currently, it’s unclear, so he pushes the thoughts as far from his consciousness as he can and shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders stiff in an effort to warm up. _Fat chance_ , he realizes, and walks faster.

“Oh,” says Dirk, sadly. “That’s why none of the buses would stop for me.”

At this, Todd _does_ stop walking and turns completely to look at Dirk, who is epitomizing the picture of rejection: wings droopy, gaze pointed at the ground, lips in a full pout. “Hey,” he says softly before realizing it, hand reaching out to touch Dirk’s arm. He stops short, unsure if he really wants to go further, and his brain flies through his options, rapidly attempting to catch up to his seemingly involuntary need to comfort the angel. Dirk’s eyes flick up to meet Todd’s, staring at him through auburn-blonde eyelashes. Todd drops his arm awkwardly and tries to smile as nicely as he can, but knows at most he looks a bit strangled. “Let’s...let’s just go back to my apartment, get into dry clothing, eat something, and you can ask me whatever questions you want, okay?”

Dirk, whose eyes trailed along the path of Todd’s arm, suddenly claps and grins, sadness masked by burgeoning excitement. “Todd, that sounds like exactly what we need right now.” The angel pats Todd on the shoulder, striding past, before halting and rocking up onto tip-toes. “You, uh...you lead the way.”

Todd smirks in spite of himself and nods. “Sure. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have at least enough planned for another chapter. Just can't help it--Todd trying to explain things to Dirk is just too adorable and awkward to ignore. There may end up being more after this one and the next one, if we have more ideas. We will see! Thanks for all the love y'all!! The comments and kudos blow us away. Please leave more!! <3


	3. Artwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because she's amazing, Beta_Jawn sketched out this beautiful depiction of Dirk (on her lunch break mostly! She blows me away!!), who is quite shocked and annoyed about the rain, and Todd, who's still just trying to get warm. Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Todd, having led Dirk to his apartment, feels the tingles of embarrassment in his scalp. It is his least favorite feeling in the world, one he cannot wait to escape with the pint of cheap beer that’s currently sitting in his refrigerator. He sighs, key in the lock of his door, again considering whether this current decision is _smart_. To be fair, Todd is not the right judge for such a thing as he tends not to make the best decisions, and he knows it. Dirk, wings soaked and dripping noisily all over the linoleum, hops from foot to foot, still grinning like a fool at this unbelievable stroke of luck. Todd spares the angel a glance, his irritation softening, and turns the key.

“ _This is where you live!?”_ Dirk exclaims, brushing past him the moment the door unlatches. The angel, wide-eyed, twirls around the apartment, touching and picking up a variety of bizarre items with awe. “So many... _things!_ ” As Dirk flits around, uncomfortable new wings knock into the lamp, throwing it onto the floor with a crash.

“It’s…,” Todd begins, rubbing the back of his neck while staring at the broken lamp with exasperation. “It’s not much, I know, but whatever. It works. I’ll just…,” he pauses, watching Dirk admire the remote for the television as though it were a sacred relic. “I’ll just heat up some of this leftover pizza for us.” He pops it into the microwave, looking up to search for his companion, who has... _disappeared. Of course._

Simultaneously, the toilet flushes and Dirk lets out a high pitched scream, flailing while fleeing the bathroom. “ _What was_ **_that!?_ ** **”**

Todd can’t help but shake his head at the absurdity of the moment, a small smile hiding in the corners of his lips. “It was just the toilet. You’ll...well, you’ll figure it out later. Stop running all over the place, you’re soaking the carpet. C’mon, I have some clothes you can borrow while we...uh…,” he stops, staring.

Dirk looks...like an angel that fell out of heaven. _Literally_. Ivory pants filthy and torn at the knees, tunic ripped, cheeks and palms scraped and crusted over with small scabs. _No use saving the clothes_ , that’s for sure. Dirk’s head tilts, an eyebrow raised, while waiting for Todd to continue. Unfortunately, Todd forgot he was speaking, so they just stare at each other in thick, somewhat uncomfortable silence. Well, uncomfortable for Todd. Dirk, as usual, doesn’t mind (or notice?) in the slightest.

Eventually Todd blinks and remembers--dripping, wet clothes. Soaking...everything. Everywhere. _Right_. “Um...this way.”

Moments later, the microwave has beeped, Dirk is dressed adorably, ridiculously so in Todd’s much-too-short pajama pants and a well-worn t-shirt, and the pair are sitting on the couch with rubbery reheated pizza (which Dirk cannot help but _adore_ ) and cans of slightly too cold beer. As they eat, Dirk’s gaze keeps flicking about the apartment, attempting to take in the surroundings with _arguable efficiency_. As always.

Around somewhat open mouthfuls of food, Dirk suddenly asks, “Which version of human is the best?”

Todd blinks. “What do you mean, _version_?” He takes a swig of beer, relishing in the cool fizz as it travels down his throat. He can already tell that this is going to be a _long_ conversation.

“There seem to be several versions,” Dirk clarifies. Only it doesn’t clarify things _at all._ In fact, it only serves to confuse Todd even more, as if that were Dirk’s primary mission in life. As they get to know each other, Todd is fairly convinced that this might _actually_ be the case.

He clears his throat and blinks again. “What are you talking about?”

“Some have extra... _bits,_ ” Dirk says this carefully, as if it were a dirty word, before continuing, “on their chests? And act and dress differently _-ish_ , judging from what I observed in my dreadfully boring excursion to the _bus stop_.”

Todd chokes on his next drink of beer, sputtering and coughing before he’s able to reply. “You mean, girls?” Dirk shrugs, clueless. “Are you talking about genders? That there are different genders?”

Vigorous, excited, wing-twitching and nodding from Dirk. “Yes, that must be it. Very good, Todd! Definitely right, as I knew you would be. **_Genders_** ,” the word rolls around in the angel’s mouth. “So _which_ is _best_?” At this point, Dirk is too interested in the conversation to continue eating (stomach having given up on its loud betrayals), so there’s a loud clatter as plate hits coffee table and hands rest gently on knees with the utmost attention focused on Todd.

Todd shifts uncomfortably under the intensity of Dirk’s gaze, cheeks flushing as he looks away and replies, “It doesn’t matter.” He shrinks in on himself in an attempt to hide from the angel’s scrutiny. Dirk leans forward into Todd’s space even further, completely unaware of personal boundaries, until the demon is pinned against the arm of the sofa, the angel’s pizza-and-beer breath washing over his face.

He’s hopeful that Dirk might drop it altogether as he immediately stares out the window, seeing nothing in particular and optimistic he might fast-forward through this awkward moment. A few minutes pass. _Dammit_. No such luck for the demon. “But what one is your favorite?” his angel companion presses, still leaning forward into Todd’s personal space.

More uncomfortable shifting from Todd. More hope that _perhaps_ , if he’s really quite lucky, Dirk still might drop it. “I don’t have a favorite,” he insists, silently begging for this conversation to end

“You _must_ have a favorite, Todd. Favorites are definitely a _thing_ , I know that _for sure_.”

 _Dammit,_ Todd curses again to himself. He shakes his head and takes another long drink of his beer, barely tasting it as he pointedly ignores the angel’s statement. Dirk refuses to be deterred, despite all of Todd’s silent (and obviously powerless) prayers for less... _sensitive_ topics. “Well, why did you pick the one you are?”

“I...I don’t know. Seemed easier?”

Some silence makes Todd optimistic that _maybe, just maybe_ , it’s--

“Do you...um...so which one do you _like,_ though?”

**_Fuck._ **

“What does it matter to you?” Todd hates himself a teensy bit for how cranky he sounds but honestly, can’t they just move on?

Dirk suddenly withdraws and flounces off the sofa to start pacing while monologuing, “Well, it’s high time I pick one for myself. There must be good things and bad things about each. You know much more about this than I do, and I know that you _definitely_ have preferences. It’s _extremely_ important that you tell them to me. I want to pick the one that seems the most...appealing? _Yes_ , _appealing_. That’s the one I want. The _appealing_ one, Todd.”

Nearly losing a mouthful of beer, Todd coughs out, “Wait. Appealing to who?”

“ _To_ _whom_ , Todd,” Dirk corrects with a self-satisfied grin.

A glance towards the ceiling does not, unfortunately, provide Todd with any more patience than he currently has, despite the intense longing he feels for it. “Whatever. _To whom_ , then?” he asks, exhaling thoroughly in an effort to maintain his sanity. How does Dirk have _such_ an effect on him?

“To you,” Dirk replies confidently, coming to a halt in front of Todd’s knees and meeting his eye. “ _Obviously._ Why would I care about being appealing to anybody else?”

Todd feels his cheeks heat while a familiar tingle makes its way up his scalp and he stares at Dirk, who is standing there in Todd’s clothing, telling him about the preference for being _appealing to him_. _To_ **_him!_ ** “Why...but...I don’t…”

 _“Come on, Todd_. You _must_ have a predilection for _something_ . Tell me your preference and that is what I will pick!” Dirk nearly shouts, excitedly gesturing for emphasis and leaning down into Todd’s space again. Finished with the wild gesticulating, Dirk tries to figure out what to do next with these new, scabby hands. Options include Todd’s shoulders, Todd’s knees, or settling on Dirk’s hips. Hips seem the safest bet at the moment, _so hips it is_ in a show of supreme sass. Dirk is pleased with this decision.

Todd, overwhelmed, leans back into the couch cushions while answering, “Um, I...uh, I guess I like both? Hadn’t really thought much about it. I just sort of...ugh, why am I telling you this?”

“Because I’m your best friend, clearly,” Dirk responds without missing a beat, chin pointing and head weaving with _just enough attitude._

“We’ve only just met!” Todd argues, incredulous.

 _“Irrelevant_. I don’t see any _other_ friends around at the moment, now do I? Tell me what you were going to say, Todd. Come on, out with it!” Dirk insists while plopping back down onto the couch, barely missing the demon’s lap before smiling prettily at him in an act of persuasion.

If Todd could crawl into a hole in the ground right now, he _absolutely would_. This entire situation is completely mad, and he hates it more than...well...he hates most things, actually. It’s difficult to say what he hates most. Just know that he hates this an _awful_ lot. Nevertheless, he rallies and continues, feeling trapped by Dirk’s stubborn curiosity. “I...when I feel like I want to... _you know_...I just...I disguise my wings and appear and whoever seems interested in me first is who I, uh...pick. I guess,” Todd explains disjointedly, feeling a complete lack of eloquence and an exaggerated sense of stupidity, feeling his face heat with a deep blush.

Dirk frowns, eyebrows screwing up and lips turning down. “To do what?” he asks after a few moments of confused consideration which produce exactly zero epiphanies.

“What?”

“To do what with, Todd? What do you pick them to do _with_ you?” Dirk clarifies.

 _Is this my life right now?_ the demon wonders. _I can’t believe this is my life right now._

Todd pops up off the couch, strides into his bedroom and returns less than 10 seconds later to throw a magazine onto Dirk’s lap. The cover shows two naked males with pained expressions on their faces, one behind the other. They’re sweating, and the one in front has his hand twisted up in some sheets next to them. Dirk reads the cover: _Cocky Boys_.

“ _This_ , Dirk. Just...just look at this and you’ll understand. I’m...uh...I’m going to take a shower. Or a nap. Or...uh…,” and with that, Todd’s fled the room in a mild panic, feeling much too warm to stay in the same room as the bewildered angel.

Dirk stays silent, staring after Todd momentarily before flipping through the pages of the magazine. Making it to the middle is enough to help with the decision.

“Male, then.”

And that’s _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU, angels are non-binary and can choose a gender once they come to Earth if they want. They don't have to, but Todd, when he fell, chose to be male.
> 
> Also: Clearly we can't help ourselves and just keep coming up with ideas for this one. I have no clue where it's going, but we will add chapters as we come up with things.
> 
> Art is on the way. :)


	5. Artwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artwork drawn by Beta_Jawn of Dirk and Todd discussing genders in Todd's apartment. Enjoy!!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155469010@N02/26593094228/in/dateposted-public/)


	6. Artwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk starts understanding Todd's preferences...

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155469010@N02/39753251884/in/dateposted-public/)

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't decided how much of this is going to happen. I do have ideas about how I want the world to work, but I mostly just wanted to get this down once the idea hit me!
> 
> If you're curious or interested in more, please leave a comment below about it. This is my first time writing an AU of any kind, so I'm uncertain about it.
> 
> As always, kudos/comments are super duper fantastical lovely and definitely enhance my life force. Thank you kind readers for leaving them! <3


End file.
